A trip around the block....

Its 4:24 am




  So you are looking at this and wondering....what the blue blazes is this?

When Lori was in her final stages of her cancer journey,I was the person who administered her medications.
Be it a IV drip,norco,tamoxifen or liquid morphine,I was the one giving it to Lori. I was very faithful to her schedule and when I needed help,her oncology team was extremely supportive in walking me through what I needed and when the time came for hospice,the transition was pretty easy.
   After my lovely wife went to her reward,I was left with what do with the extra meds I had left over..I have blogged about my options,I could turn them into the police or toss them out...or even a flush them down the toilet. Those options were no options,the police really didn't want to have deal with disposal,you can't just toss away heavy narcotics away in the trash and certainly there was no way I was going to flush them.
  So that left me with one idea,to create enough coffee grounds that I could grind/pour the meds into the bowl and then toss them safely out.

  Funny thing happened to my plan,the bowl just kept growing and growing in size as I just kept on making excuses and reasons on why I haven't done this as of yet.
  So you are looking at every and I mean every pot of coffee that I brewed since May 2013. And no,I still haven't tossed away her meds as of yet. I am sure some shrink would have a answer for this...

 Got a knock on my door the other day...it was my neighbor's son who's bike I have been "keeping" ever since he left it outside against his mother's wishes. The parents and I both agreed that the son should write a letter of apology to the mom for disobeying her and leaving his brand new bike unattended to like that.
 This incident happened on 18 June and only yesterday had he come over with the letter. I had suggested to him he should write the letter two days after I had the bike. I told his folks my idea and they liked it a lot.

  But nothing happened so I hired the boys to help me do a project and again suggested a letter would be in order. He said he would and I talked to his mom about it again...but still heard nothing. I was a little confused about why he wasn't writing it,I knew it wasn't because he didn't care or respect his folks...so when he showed up and explained he had been gone two weeks on a camping trip,it made perfect sense. Hard to bring over a letter when you are 1,500 miles away!
   So I gave another mini lecture and gave back his bike and helmet and also put his letter on my fridge as a reminder that I would not see his bike outside again.

I am very down these days,I can feel my sadness and depression closing in around me. The long overnights at my job are ending just in time for me,I am getting beat up by the quiet once my co-workers go home at midnight. We still have people working,its just they are elsewhere in the store and we work alone pretty much after midnight.

  My energy and emotional levels are down,these three months are just the worst in terms of pure memories.
Death,union,birth...all swirling in my heart,far too many times as of late I have come home and just stared at where Lori's hospice bed was at...and going back to the times I sat with her,or giving her a drink,IV drip or a norco (a pain med). I asked a co-worker whose own wife has a very serious case of Trigeminal neuralgia
that he deals with on a daily basis,I asked him "When was the last time you were happy"? A simple question and my answer is as well...the last day I felt happy was the day before Lori's illness was discovered. I have ran the gamut of emotions ever since but truly happy wasn't one. I have been hopeful,thankful,loving,caring,angry,heartbroken, even peaceful in some respects but a wake up happy and go to bed happy day?

  Lori would have been 55 come the 25th of July...I know she would have wanted to travel somewhere fun,maybe a return trip to Washington,D.C. or somewhere south of here. Well,I can't afford nor am I in a mood for that but I can continue to do home improvements as I have been doing this week.
  My buddy Rich came back over today and we caulked the garage,cut away a dead heavy vine,cleaned the gutters and measured out where I am going to have to put in a board. Also went to spray some carpenter bees but ran out of spray so that will have to wait til tomorrow morning when I go get the supplies.
  Half of my basement is now clean and I am ready to tackle the Christmas side and the basement table as well. Of course the cheetah likes to come down and hang out with me while that is happening. He sits in the corner,purrs loudly and meows a few times as well....I believe this is called being supervised.
 
  The weekend of the 4th of July,the crew at work was talking about fireworks and how every year there is always someone careless who does something stupid. Everyone started telling stories about people they either knew or read about who managed to go to the extreme on the 4th.
   Lucky for me,I have never actually known anyone personally who did something that goofy (as I pat the BB still lodged in my jaw). I heard about a neighborhood kid who was hurt when he put firecrackers under a ceramic flowerpot that blew up in his face and when Lori and I lived in Northville,a man who lived not that far away ended blowing 3 fingers off his hand...and the guy in California (where else) who blew off BOTH hands fooling around with fireworks just this past week.

   Every year our local media nationwide always harp on the public to keep it safe and avoid the crippling or even fatal injuries that go along with being careless about handling fireworks. That includes house fires as well as shooting bullets in the air (a Detroit tradition).
  So it was a surprise to hear about a local weatherman for our ABC local station in Detroit,Dave Rexroth,who was in Iowa for the holiday,was seriously injured when a firework either blew up by his face or he was hit in the face by a flying firework. Either way,he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended losing a eye in the accident. He still currently in the hospital where he is having surgery to put in a prosthetic eye and will be off the air until September.
  He is one of the favorite media folks in our area and in that regard,I hope he recovers quickly and is able to resume his duties at Channel 7.



 Found out that I missed the local DVD sale at my Dollar Tree. I stopped by there to pick up some household supplies and checked the small DVD area only to see fresh movies. I poked through them picking up every new title I saw regardless of what it is.
  Since I have a lot of new readers,let me introduce you to what Dollar Tree Theater is. You can click the link or know that Lori and I loved Dollar Tree. About twice a year,the chain will sell DVDs for a buck.  Many are older films you may have heard of,there are a even a few DVD sets of TV series (I picked up the series "Daybreak" at one sale) but most are low budget obscure films that no one saw. Once in a blue moon,you might find a recent release like "Red Light"..it just depends on lucky you are when you stumble across the rare sale.

   I buy every single title I see whether I know it or not,many times I will just put it on for background noise while I putter away. And sometimes I actually sit down and watch it. But my store had been pretty much wiped out so I got only four films...decided to cruise to another store a couple of miles away where I had more luck with finding 7 movies including a Japanese anime film which was a first.
  It was then that I found out just how long it had been since I had actually stopped by as the clerk said the DVDs had come in a month ago and that I was getting the dregs...I sort of guessed that when I saw the Jessica Simpson movie "Blonde Ambition" sitting in the bin and yes,I bought a copy. I wonder if I could get paid for reviewing these old chestnuts.

  I like to extend a invite to all the new folks who have come across the blog to join my Networked Blogs group or via the Google Friend Connect which are on the side of the blog.  Also,please take a minute to explore some of the writers I follow which include my friend Sydney who is a special young lady who writes a raw and personal blog like this one.

Well I guess that is it for now.....again,thanks to everyone who supported my Food Stamp Nation entry and left some great feedback.

If you are on Twitter,please feel free to add me @Jinzo_2400. Love to sweep tweets with you.


Shout Outs

Lisa Adams - Love and light to you.
Rob W. - Thanks for another late night chat...and for sharing. We can do this.
Sue E. - Thanks for the company always...hope you enjoy the Sherlock Holmes series as much as I did.
Barb - Thank you again!
Rich - Finally feel like our repairs are going to make a real difference
Jack - Hope your back feels better soon
Dollar Tree - thanks for the DVD sale,do it again soon!
Monique Parent - stay cool in Vegas
Huron Valley Animal Shelter - for all the hard work the folks there do,you guys rock
To everyone who leaves a comment - you rock as well!!
Debbie R - java!

Re-engage Maverick!

Its 5:33 pm

    What started as a cool and rainy day has turned into a humid one with some thunderstorms rumbling across our area. The storms have kicked up to my north and I haven't heard anything but the sound of a drizzle.
  The couple of days have been slightly better...my neighbor Al broke out his grill and smoker yesterday and made a feast of ribs,burgers,brats and a pork loin. His kids and his special lady all came over to enjoy a good meal. I came over and "helped" him out,all I did was move a piece of fencing out of his way. Once we got the smoker going,we made coffee and talked for a while. We checked out the new neighbor's dogs as they romped across the lawn with each other.



 As we chatted,we heard a rumbling in the sky and pretty soon we saw what was causing it...the Yankee Air Museum was open and running for Memorial Day. They were offering rides in of their restored planes,a B-25 medium bomber. The B-25 Mitchell was made famous during Col. Dolittle's daring raid on Tokyo.






The museum has between 1 and 3 Mitchell's in it and for a fee of between 400-600 dollars,you can get a ride around the area. They also offer the same ride for a B-17 but we didn't see that plane yesterday.
 As a matter of fact,we don't if our annual airshow will even happen this year because of the budget cuts. I takes a LOT of money to put a Blue Angel team in the air and with the Republicans screaming for budget cuts,well the airshow will be a casualty of that. We can only hope enough private owners can offer up thier planes to help keep the interest going. As much as I love the old prop planes,I'm going to miss watching F-18s scream over our house leading up to the show.

  Came home long enough to grab my keys and make a run to Dollar Tree where I got a couple of mini phone books. I posted on my FB wall about our phone book being misplaced and having to replace it. I also got more trash bags as well. Then it was off to Meijer where I got fresh milk and some bread. I told Deb,our regular cashier the news. She was saddened by the news and asked if I doing okay...I said I was doing alright and came home. Basically,this what I need to be doing right now...re-engaging back into my life. Making two small runs was a good start....
  But it still comes up...I made some coffee and prepared mine and then Lori's. I don't know why that happened only that it did and it hurt like a mofo. I ended up drinking water instead and put my items away.
Went over and had dinner at Al's. Watched the Tigers hold on to beat the Pirates,6-5. Justin Verlander looked pretty good as he struck out 13 while throwing 97 mph. After the game,I came home and started for the 3rd time to put away the laundry on the bed....which I again failed to do.
   Got a phone from my old friend Monte in Arizona. His brother has cancer and we talked about that and how I told him to tell his brother to "ask questions,just don't accept every answer". Monte and I talked about various things,he let me talk quite a bit. I now also have a open invite to visit Arizona. I haven't there in about 25 years.



Monte,during his One Step Beyond days.

Went to sleep early for a relative change...slept well for the first time in months. Only woke up twice during the night....

  Today I got up and called the exterminator that Lori and I used three years ago when we had a nasty case of carpenter ants. JC Honey is his name and he is a master of pest control. I had not seen a single ant in the house until Saturday night when I saw a little sugar ant. I called JC right away because I just can't afford a out of control ant problem,this was another tiny step forward.
   Called my job and spoke to my FES/HR guru,Pam,who said to come on down and talk. I cleaned up,brushed my teeth and drove down to the job.
After asking how I was doing,Pam and I talked schedule while waiting for our store manager to clear his call,he too,wanted to talk with me. After talking to both of them,I headed out...talking to several folks who asked how I was doing. (Sorry again,Kayla....coffee this weekend if we work together,I promise)
  I felt a little lighter on my feet,I need to go back to work,ASAP. Because bills wait for no man.

Lori's brother is selling Comet for me. We are using the proceeds to buy the headstone for the burial plot...we each are contributing 1,100.00 towards that which is very fair. My share will come from the sale of Comet...so I had to make a run to the Secretary of State to let them know I was transferring the title to her brother. That was a hard thing to do....I think I'm going to hold off my yard sale idea until August,I am not in any hurry to lose any of her things right now. I am just not ready...
 
  I drove home feeling uneasy....at my job,our HR person is a very nice man named Justin. He has a family and he is a Naval reservist who trains firemen. He has served two tours overseas and is very proud of his service as he should be. He is the man I wrote about whom I teased last college football season when San Jose State shut out Navy,12-0.
  He and I enjoy a lot of the same music and he loves Stevie Caballero,the pioneer skateboard legend.
He really is the soul of our store,he is liked by everyone.
 So why am I uneasy? Because he is now on active duty in Afghanistan...manning a security check point! Think about this for a second and know that the Pentagon is even more fucked up then average citizen realizes. You have a Navy reservist manning the most dangerous job the military has going today. 12 hours a day,during a troop withdrawal and some dumb ass brasshat decides to put Justin in a job that a far more highly trained Army infantryman should be doing. You don't slap 4 weeks of basic on a man and stick him in a hellhole and in a front line position like that. What made this worse was he was told he wouldn't have to go and he was scheduled to rotate back...but he was smart enough not to tell his son. For wouldn't you know it,the day BEFORE he was supposed to come home,he was told he was once again heading back overseas.
 What a total FUBAR this has turned out to be.



We are waiting for his information to be posted at my job,when it is,I will post it here so the folks here will take the time to send him a letter or care package.

Started work on the next installment of "8 Questions with....." I think this interview will be quite fun and just a reminder....we still have 2 free CDs of Carl Henry to give away as with 3 free 3-books of romance writer Jan Romes.  All you have to do is leave a comment on their interviews (and have a Amazon account if you want Jan's book). So I hopefully will have that up and running very soon....

To those of you who have started sharing my blog with your friends and family,I'm very thankful. I know a new chapter is about to start for me but for now,I like to linger in this for a little while.

You can find on Twitter @Jinzo_2400

Rolling entry

Its 8:45 am


    Sitting in Ann Arbor on a cold rainy day. I'm in the family surgery waiting room...I was here last year when Lori was having her twin surgeries done. The room is packed with folks and most seem to be in a good mood. I remember I was as well....until about hours in and Dr. Johnston hadn't come out as scheduled. Then the butterflies started kicking in...but now its a little different as I am on the outside looking in.
   Still anxious but relieved we're "only" here for a PET scan and not a surgery.




Pretty stoked about my Spartans....watched the Navy game on Saturday and while on paper a 12-0 score isn't all that,it was to us fans. Its the first time a San Jose State team has won past past the Mississippi River as we have lost twice to Florida,once to Miami(Fla) and also to Virginia. So its pretty cool Coach Mac led us to a bit of history with this win. We'll have more chances to get more wins as we still have a game with Navy and a series with Army starting in a few years.
   I have been a fan of San Jose State for about 30 years now and Coach Mac is the 2nd best coach we have had,the first still being Claude Gilbert. The players have totally bought into his coaching style and it shows in the games now. The last 2 years were rough because the losing culture that the worst coach SJS has had,Fitz Hill,had allowed to grow and fester. Combine that with a low level talent base and you get a 1-12 season that Coach Mac got in his debut season. But now the team is so much better and even the recruiting is getting exciting as we are getting players on a national basis instead of just Californa and the JC ranks....this will bode well as the Spartans move into the Mountain West season next year.

Someone just brought in a cup of Starbucks coffee....man,does that look heavenly!










My FB group is really perking along now....the political jabs are coming fast and furious. I added two Admins because I can't always be online to moniter the posts. Watching the exchanges only has proven one thing,teapublicans have the worst selective memories on the planet. I mean,I can agree and freely admit that Democrats have major shortcomings. But ask a teapublican about what they don't like about their party and you get a fanatical Nazi Party response. They can complain freely about "big government" and "crazy spending" yet fail to acknowledge that fighting two wars,creating a recession by allowing it to happen and ignoring the housing crisis and the insane cost of healthcare doesn't "count". Its very hard to actually try and have a discussion about issues because of thier lack of facts and unwillingness to do even basic research.
  Some of the comments on the group page just make me laugh,I can't get upset because I feel sorry for the posters. Watching someone who you know in real life standing on the corner yelling basic propaganda rhetoric when in real life they are NOT that insane sounding is a weird dynamic. Its funny,they do make some valid points but because they make so many crazy claims and sound looney tunes,no one takes 'em seriously when they do share some facts.

  Hey! I picked up my 10th follower! Thank you ever so much and I hope you aren't too bored by my rantings and writing.


Its now Friday and its 5:45 pm

      Its raining outside. Just finished up a Subway tuna fish sandwich and am just chilling now watching the rain. Another week has come and gone. Glad that I have a job,a warm bed,a beautiful wife and a awesome kitty. Glad I have such great friends and a kick ass brother who seems hell bent on settling down and growing some roots in Portland.
   Sent off my new interview and am starting to prep for my next one with singer Cat Beach. I will be sending that interview out as well next week. I should be doing one interview of week but still haven't managed to fit that into my schedule as of yet. I also have seen my traffic drop off because I'm not promoting my blog as well as I have before I started working. Which is all relative of course as working does seem to be more important at the second!

   Okay,I know this entry wasn't the strongest but hey,I can't hit a homer every time out,right?
I'll post the results of Lori's scan on Tuesday after we get back from Ann Arbor.



Nelson- Thanks for understanding!
Warren - You're the subject of my next blog.
To all of my supporters- thanks for sticking around!
Tiffany- Think Aaron would be open to a interview?
Michelle-Can't wait to see how you answered my questions.

A death in the family

Its 11:07 am

   Sigh. Its a depressing day in our house....we have suffered a terrible sadness,a loss of a beloved family member. One was loved almost everyday,whose name we spoke aloud with adoration,affection and longing.
 Everyday either Lori or I would slide over and gently wash,rinse and make sure our loved was filled with only the best of the best. Starbucks, 8 O'Clock,Tim Hortons,Dunkin Donuts.
   And while their history may not of always been so noble,their redemption of today helped overcome their not so glorious past.
  Of whom am I speaking of?  Our beloved Krupps Coffee Maker died this morning after 8 years of loyal service. The mighty maker of both hot steaming cups of coffee for Lori to huge Jimmy cups of iced coffee for me.
  It fueled many of writing sessions,brewed up enough coffee for those long trips to Ann Arbor or "Up North" (my Michigan readers will get that). Many of days we would wake up to heavy snow and instead of going "holy cat poo",we would happily gear up knowing that after shoveling 8 inches of snow,we would have coffee waiting for us.
  And while we did have to to replace a filter and a coffee pot,the machine itself went of brewing steadfast for the 8 years we had it. It was a wedding shower gift to Lori from her friend Karen. Now I might be hard pressed to name a wedding gift we received but never have forgotten the mighty coffee maker. And now its gone,suddenly and with no warning. I am mourning our devoted friend and I ask of you to raise your cup (or in Debbie Rochon's case,several cups) and give a toast to our coffee maker.
  That said,we're heading over to Bed Bath and Beyond to see what new models they so we can brew up a fresh cup tonight.

   Going to give a hearty shout out to my friend and fellow blogger Slade Wilson for has made the trek over from FB and is following me here. Will is one of my favorite people and another die-hard baseball fan. Sadly he follows the Mets and hates the Yankees despite my best efforts to get him to come over to the Dark Side (we have cookies!!) he shrugs off my best efforts and stays loyal to the "other team". He is a gifted writer in his own right and his takes on the current state of TV allows me to know what or not to waste my time on.
  I'm just tickled he has joined the growing (11) number of folks who are starting to read me here. I'm closing in on 2,000 views already and its only April.


Speaking of baseball,its been rather amusing to listen and read the local Detroit sportswriters this spring training. The Tigers have a massively talented looking team and one that could reach the World Series and the biggest question? What will happen to erstwhile 3rd baseman Brandon Inge? Inge,who was a Tigers fan favorite until his selfishness reared its ugly head (refused to play catcher,refused to go on the DL for a injured knee which not only cost Inge at the plate but the Tigers as well).
  Guy has never hit well (.235 average),shown so-so power with 139 home runs but has played great defensively. Last year after scuffling along and barely hitting his weight,he agreed to go the minors instead of becoming a free agent. Came back up in Sept and hit .321 before fading badly once again in the playoffs.
 When the Tigers signed Prince Fielder and moved Miguel Cabrera to 3rd this past off season,instead of asking for his release or a trade,Inge said he wanted to compete for the 2nd base job despite the Tigers having  many better players who have earned a crack at a starting job. Instead of stepping aside for a younger player who might really help the team,Inge is bringing  his .181 spring training average and is seriously being considered for the team. Brandon Inge has gone from a player who used to care about his team to becoming a cancer in the locker room. It has the baseball fans talking a mile of minute and where a couple of years ago,this would have been a 50/50 topic (50% love Inge,50% hate him),its now more like 85/15 against him,Inge has burned away almost all of his old support due to his hanging on despite not helping the team. Its pretty interesting to see this little drama unwind and I'm sure the other teams in the AL Awful,err,Central division are pretty happy to see this.

  Sort of weird to be typing this entry and hearing James Taylor singing Christmas tunes on iTunes. This must be my signal to wrap this up and go cut my grass!

Will share our hunt for a new coffee maker tomorrow.  Pretty exciting,isn't it???