Monday, November 4, 2013

Safe Passage: Improving End-of-Life Care

It's 1:30 am

I like to thank Marianne for this entry,I copied it from her blog. It's a very strong article that you need to read.





A leading doctor has devoted his life to helping the terminally ill–and their families–face their mortality with honesty, dignity, and compassion

Excerpted from The Best Care Possible by Dr. Ira Byock, published by Avery Books, an imprint of Penguin books (LISA) Inc. Buy the book.
"Tell me about your father."
Ira Byock, MD, director of palliative medicine at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in Lebanon, NH, waits attentively for the answer, elbows resting on his knees.
Seated across from him on a floral sofa in the quiet conference room at DHMC, 59-year-old Julia Dillard* takes a deep breath and launches into a litany of the dire medical problems besetting her 83-year-old father, who was referred to Dr. Byock's palliative care team after it became clear that his condition was grave. Inoperable aneurysms hide in his brain and aorta. Lymphoma lurks in restless remission. The rusty hinges of his heart stay barely cobbled together after bypass and valve replacement surgeries.
His eyesight is failing; nerves in his legs are slowly dying.
Dr. Byock takes in this clinical laundry list without interrupting. Then he says again, "No, tell me about your father. Tell me about the man he is."
As though his words suddenly release her from the tense, jargon-filled hospital world of worsening symptoms and grim prognoses, Dillard's face softens, and she shares family stories: how her father met her late mother at MIT and always said it was love at first sight, never failing to mention how incredibly gorgeous she and her red hair were. More memories follow: a carousel ride; visits to the public library; his generous, kind presence in his daughter's adult life; his stoicism even now–not complaining or admitting that he's in pain. Finally, her stories stop. But it's clear that she feels this is the right answer: This is who her father is.
In an age of specialists and aggressive medical protocols, people who've reached the end of their lives can get trapped in a frightening and frantic maze of tests and technology. Doctors and the families of the dying may lose sight of the person within the patient and see him as a series of medical battles to be won–until they can't be won any longer. Dr. Byock's mission is to help everyone involved find meaning, dignity, and peace in these final months of life.
Few would argue against the idea that end-of-life care in America needs an overhaul. Patients typically undergo aggressive treatments for the conditions afflicting them, ending their days in a semiconscious haze of pain and pain-killing drugs; often, no one addresses the fact that they're dying. In large part, this is because doctors are taught that their primary goal is to fight disease and injury. "Physician training reinforces a denial of dying, death, and grief and emphasizes combating the disease over helping the patient," Dr. Byock says.
Take pneumonia, he explains. The human body is hardwired with a variety of ways to shut itself down naturally, and pneumonia is one of its least painful exit strategies. It's also one of the most treatable, so doctors rush in to intervene, and each regimen–antibiotics, ventilators, surgery – forces the body of a critically ill patient to find a more painful way to die.
Dr. Byock wants to make that a more thoughtful process. He believes that for each patient, a loving, frank, and compassionate collective of doctors, family members, and, of course, the patient herself should discuss what her prognosis is, what's medically possible, and what trade-offs she may want to make between her remaining time and her quality of life.
Dr. Byock's philosophy has been honed over the 34 years he has spent working in hospice and palliative care and advocating for the rights of end-of-life patients. If we accept death as a normal stage of life, he believes, it goes against both nature and common sense to approach a dying person as merely a series of medical problems to be solved. "Difficult decisions are often made in moments of crisis and based on nonmedical factors, such as a patient's fear, a doctor's ego, or a family's unresolved issues," he says. "Face the fear, set ego aside, and address the problems–that creates a space in which to ask the hard questions, listen to each other with respect, weigh options realistically, and make decisions responsibly."
Thus, the palliative treatment that Dr. Byock has developed for patients facing the end of their lives includes elements of the hospice care it grew from. "Our first priority is to alleviate suffering," he says. But palliative care also means "being honest with patients about their illness, treatment options, and life expectancy. This does not destroy hope," says Dr. Byock. "On the contrary, by communicating fully and honestly, doctors enable people to choose how they want to live their last days and focus their aspirations on things that are achievable, which is the very definition of hope.

End-of-life counseling was derided as "pulling the plug on Grandma" during recent political debates on health care reform, and its practitioners were vilified as "death panels." But the research strongly suggests otherwise. Although palliative care is a relatively new field, having been introduced to US hospitals around 20 years ago, numerous studies of critically ill people receiving hospice care (in which patient comfort is emphasized over treatment of the illness) have found that these patients live weeks or even months longer and feel better, physically and emotionally, than those who receive only conventional medical treatment. The most important study, conducted at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, revealed that lung cancer patients who got palliative care in tandem with standard oncological treatment enjoyed a "significantly better quality of life and lower rates of depression," according to lead author Jennifer S. Temel, MD. What's more, those patients lived an average of 2.7 months longer.
Although patients' welfare is Dr. Byock's primary concern, the overstrained health care system would also benefit from adopting his ideas. In 2009, Medicare paid $60 billion for hospital and doctor bills during the last 2 months of patients' lives, and between 20 and 30% of those costs may have had no meaningful impact on either prolonging or improving the patients' lives. Patient-centered care, it has been estimated, would save the system between 30 and 40%, in addition to its many benefits for patients and their loved ones.
Nonetheless, although approximately 5,000 hospice programs are operating in the United States, there are only 73 palliative medicine fellowships. No hospital is eager to advertise itself as a great place to die, but Dr. Byock's high profile, busy speaking schedule, and best-selling books have helped put DHMC on the map, and a special few who have a calling for this important work find their way to him.
"People know a certain style of palliative care is being taught here," says Dr. Byock. "We respond to every facet of each individual patient's well-being. What we're doing is intended to change the world, but we're always feet on the ground, seeing the next patient."
And the concern encompasses the patient's loved ones too: "The patient experiences his death momentarily; the family lives with it permanently," Dr. Byock says. But grief doesn't have to be the family's only response. He credits this insight to his early career in emergency care. "Often people would tell me that the end of a loved one's life had actually been a time of precious value for them and their family," he says. From then on, he decided to try to give every family that opportunity to come together in support of their loved one.
That's why Dr. Byock and his palliative care team offer everything from explaining and advising on treatment options to providing psychological counseling when needed–or just a compassionate ear at any time of the day or night. They can also assist family members in negotiating nonmedical concerns, such as transferring legal obligations, and help both them and the patients gain the perspective to feel a sense of closure and say good-bye.
Dr. Byock's intensely caring, focused attention on every person he treats may seem unique, but his influence touches all DHMC doctors. His team's morning huddles include staff from every department of the hospital–oncologists, social workers, massage therapists–to ensure that everyone treating a terminal patient is aware of and sensitive to all aspects of her condition, frame of mind, and decisions.
Three months after Dr. Byock's first conversation with Dillard, her father decides to decline any further surgery for his cancer, preferring to forgo the debilitating pain so that he can savor the time he has left. But he has been going to physical therapy and attending DHMC exercise programs. His balance has improved, his strength and stamina are growing, and he feels more confident in his body. The end could be a hundred days away. Or 5 years. Or it could be tomorrow. But today – today he is doing well.
Dr. Byock and Dillard sit down for another in their series of talks. He asks her how the story of her father's life ends.
"Well, if we're lucky, an aneurysm would go, and he would die in his sleep."
"That's the pathological ending," Dr. Byock gently interrupts, "for a story in a medical journal. How does the story of your father's remarkable life end for your dad, but also for you and your sister?"
Slowly, Dillard tells him that her father has taped a "do not resuscitate" order behind a portrait of her mother on his bedroom wall–something Dr. Byock needs to know to honor his wishes. And discussing her father's death calmly and sympathetically, before the final crisis, helps Dillard start to come to terms. "He'll be okay," she says, "and so will I."


Saturday, November 2, 2013

Let me tell you how funny cancer is...(and other stuff!)

Its 12:32 am

    Another cold grey day here in SE Michigan,its been a week since we have seen sustained sunshine here. Guess Fall is rapidly pulling out and old man winter is come to visit.
Photo: Guardian Cat.....
 Paladin is doing extremely well and is behaving like a boss. Yesterday,I opened the blinds in the living room so he could scope out the birds hiding in the shrubs,they were trying to stay dry from the all day rain we got on Halloween. He jumped up and was extremely animated,making chattering noises. Now before,he would be really tense and ready to growl if I touched him...but what I did was sit down and watch him...when I said his name,he jumped over and asked for a pat on his head and some sugar...impossible two weeks ago. Now I didn't open the window itself so he wasn't overwhelmed with the noises and smells. We'll have all winter to work on this issue and see if he can't find a happy medium come spring time. 
  I got some great news this week for a change.....our co-worker Justin is home today or tomorrow. He was our store's HR person and also a Naval Reservist who trained men to fight fires. Through some unholy reason,he was selected to go to Afghanistan and serve as a soldier manning a high risk security checkpoint. 
Before he left,Lori asked me to give him a cross of hers as a way of asking God to keep him safe and sane during his posting. I know he is home safe but until I get to talk with him and see for myself,I just hope he didn't see any combat or have to shoot in anger. The stress level he must have been under must have been immense. The good thing is he going to be able to come back to our store,in what position we don't know as we have a new scheduler since he left. I haven't spoken to him since he left,I know he talked to three other people but I can understand that,we have 110 employees and trying to stay in touch would be next to impossible. Just overjoyed he is home...
  The kitchen project is coming along well enough...Howard came by and applied another coat of mud to the crack and will be grouting the crack in the tile come this Monday. That will be part one of the house project,next we will be weatherproofing it before it really gets cold.
 
  Last Saturday saw me home and following the Wyoming-San Jose State on ESPN.com. It looked ugly as the Cowboys jumped to three 16 point leads before the Spartans came roaring back to stop Wyoming,51-44 as quarterback David Fales passed for 482 yards and 5 touchdowns and scored the winning score on a 1 yard rush with 8 seconds remaining. Leading the defense was ball hawk CB Bene Benwikere who had a interception and a fumble recovery. San Jose State is now 3-1 in Mountain West play and 4-3 overall. Today they will be at UNLV who is a surprising 3-1 and 5-3. This game is for 2nd place in the West Division and a must win for the Spartans before they come home to battle a much improved San Diego State team. 
  As for me,I will miss the game as I am going on my first social gathering since Lori's leaving. My coffee friend Sue from work is hosting a party at her house for the Michigan-Michigan State game. She is a die-hard Wolverine fan (I know,I keep trying to convince her she is rooting for the wrong team!) and she invites a ton of folks for a huge feast and to watch the game. Afterwards,if the weather allows,she is going to have a bonfire in her huge fire pit. I have to say,I am looking forward to going,even if I get there after the game. I am sure it will be a good time for everyone. 
  
  I was looking at my old entries...it was October of last year that we learned Lori's cancer had come back. That in six months,she would be gone. I get told all the time not to look back,not to have regret,not wonder "what if"...but its never that simple. It is what happens when you have nothing but the memories of a long struggle. I know that eventually that the good memories will come back...I look at our wedding pictures and the other signs that marked 14 years of being a couple.
  I have a friend on Facebook named Nancy Gershman,we have chatted a little but this week was a little different,she posted a interview on her website. Its part of a series called Tragicomedia in which she asks different people on how they deal with the death of a loved one and how humor plays a role.
  Its a bold idea and I grant Nancy that,its a subject I wouldn't approach and that includes if Lori was alive.
Well the interview I read was by a woman named Sandi,who calls herself "The Irreverent Widow" after her husband died of pancreatic cancer.
   What Sandi thought was humor merely comes across as crass and disrespectful. The crap about wearing sexy clothes,the grief group not having enough "good looking people",the doctor telling her husband that his wife has a nice ass...what a crock of horseshit. And that is what I wrote in my comment (I was very nice on Nancy's page but since I'm on my ground here,I can cut loose). 
 At my store,we have at two widows,a woman whose husband is very sick with kidney problems and a man who transferred from Florida to Michigan because his wife was dying and they wanted to be near family. Well his wife died four days ago....but I asked the three ladies if they saw any humor during their husband's ordeal and deaths. I shared the story on the website and they were pretty offended. I didn't tell them anything but what the interview said and I was neutral in the telling. The humor is found in the warm memories of the relationship,the days when you were lying in bed or on a blanket watching fireworks and made a joke of some little event. Small things like Derek chewing up a slipper or Lori burning a dinner so bad and I sat there telling her how good it was while my face said "what the devil is this"? 
  Watching someone you are in love with is not funny. There are some gentle moments,like drinking contrast before a MRI or watching Terrie and Melanie fuss over Lori. But there isn't anything funny at what cancer does. Sandi's idea of humor reminds me of what Chris Rock said about homelessness. He said if you see a homeless person with a funny sign,there haven't been homeless very long. 
  And that what I felt when I read her interview,she could use humor so easily,not so much as a coping mechanism,but I feel because there was a lack of a true love there...maybe they were more friends then soulmates,I don't know. I just found her to be a sorely lacking in the compassion department. Overly sensitive? Maybe....but I don't think so...
  You be the judge....here is the link to the interview.  Read it and then come here and let me know what you think. I did notice one thing about Nancy's series....the lack of comments. Not because she isn't a good a writer because she is but I think people are too taken back at some of the flippant answers that are so easy to say but maybe not easy to actually experience.
 
 So yesterday was Hello Kitty's birthday. She turned 39 years old and looks the same as the day she was born. I have written this many times but since there are always new readers just joining the party...Hello Kitty was pretty big in our house. Not crazy big but I always bought a Hello Kitty calender as Lori's first Christmas gift every year. I also got her one small Hello Kitty item as well...be it a pen set,a pad of paper,Christmas Tree ornament. It was one of my favorite things to give her,she would always insist on small items because she didn't want anyone to come over and see a house full of Hello Kitty.
 I spent the day at my store reminding folks that it was her birthday. It made me feel close to Lori today,she would have called me "goofy" and she would have been right.
 

My next entry will be on Sunday night and it will be by guest blogger Susan Smiley. I am looking forward to seeing what she has to write about this time 'round. And I am glad to say that its a much happier column then her first one.  
I worked on Halloween night this year. It was a miserable,rainy day and night. It pretty much washed out the kids in my sub from going trick or treating. I had written that many folks here had once again cut back on the displays that had been abundant that past three years. When I rolled in my sub at 8:30 pm,there wasn't a single kid out but that wasn't the case elsewhere.
  It seems like some subs are now posting signs asking that only those neighborhood kids who live there to be to go door to door. Too many churches from dangerous places (Detroit,Inkster) are loading kids up and heading to the suburbs to go trick or treating. We saw that happen three years ago and in fact we ran out of candy and Lori had to dash out for more. 
  One of my co-workers said 90% of the kids she saw were not from her neighborhood and that she ran out of candy far faster then normal. She was upset about this and said it wasn't fair to her own kids. What do you think? Would you be willing to pass out candy to a bused in group of kids?

Doing a 30 Day photo challenge this month with Andy and Kerri Appleton....we have a theme that we have to shoot a picture that best describes the word of the day. For Day One,Picture One....the word is "truth"

Photo: #photochallenge I am going to try and do a 30 day photo challenge that Andy and Kerri are doing with a different theme each day. Day 1 is for Truth. There is a lot going on in this shot.

I will post the rest of the month as I blog along. 



Shout Outs!

Barb- Thank you so much!
Andy and Kerri - What a great idea!
Gretchen Peters - Not missing your show this time!
Nancy G.- Thank you for allowing me to comment on your page
Sue - Go Blue! (for this Saturday at least)
McFly - 3 World Series in 9 years? Break up the Red Sox!
Steve and Jimmy - Thanks for not blowing us out too badly
Maren- It was nice meeting you this week.
SU2C- That was so overwhelming this week,so very touched!
Brad and Michelle- Wish you were here to see number three with me!
Bene - Have another great game!
Noel - Get that knee better,we need you #23!
Susan- Going live on Sunday!


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@Jinzo_2400








  

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Of home,writers and other fun stuff!

Its 3:31 pm

    Its a cold grey day here in Michigan. Yesterday we got our first snowflakes of the season. The snow season is going to be a heavy one I believe if we are getting it this early. No,we are not getting any real snow as of yet (pipe down there O mighty Queen of Snow) but its coming.
  Which is why I am happy to see that my house is finally getting fixed...Howard and his new worker came over today and worked very hard at getting the roof fixed and starting to fix the crack in the kitchen. It would have been a real disaster if it had gone unrepaired through the winter.
  Because they were coming and going,Paladin had to stay upstairs and out of the way. He was pretty miffed based on the scratching and meowing that went on. But I moved him upstairs and he was happy I opened his window.


  Well he was until he felt how cold it was,then it was all about getting on the bed with Derek's old polar fleece blanket. That is where I left him as I went back downstairs.
Howard works pretty quick and they fixed the roof and sealed the crack and put a first layer of dry wall mud down. Howard will come back out and hit it with a 2nd coat come Saturday. I will post a couple of pictures after its said and done.
   Going to be featuring two guest bloggers in the very near future,writer Rebecca Scarberry and the returning Susan Smiley who wrote a beautiful eulogy to her dog Hercules. Of course I am lagging well behind my interviews which I need to step up. Time to get to get going!
 So I am quite hooked on British writer Sarah Pinborough. She is one of the sharpest writers I have read to date and that is just her blog. I met her while surfing Twitter and had very lightly talked with her until last week when I started reading her blog and watching her win several writing awards in the United Kingdom.
She writes horror,Young Adult and hard hitting short stories. I have put her on my "Must Read" list and am keeping a sharp eye out for her books. You can discover her blog and her writing by clicking here.

 In keeping with my writer theme,local writer Mike White,who exposed Liane Spiderbaby (QT's main squeeze's plagiarism) and writes  Cashiers du Cinemart and hosts the podcast "The Projection Booth" has just launched a app for the podcast for the iPad. The app is free to download and is very highly recommended. A long time ago,Mike gifted me with a copy of his excellent zine and this is my way of saying "thank you".
The Projection Booth


To find out more about Mike White and his excellent podcast,click here.

Got some news this week from back home in San Jose. Seems like the building where the live music venue I helped booked,the EDGE,was torn down this week in downtown Palo Alto.

Man, they work fast!

This was where some of the best bands played,booked by Jacek Rosicki and later on by Jimmy Arceneaux  and myself. Jacek did so much for the San Jose music scene,having the EDGE,attempting to rescue the Club Oasis and the Ajax Lounge. Buying the old Marsugi's building and converting it to a excellent restaurant named Agenda,trusting Jimmy and me with his venues. Meeting and working with the best staff ever in Monte,Geoff,Coach,Bonz,Jimbo,Pat Bagg,Melvin,the mighty Jimi Dave and sound guru Rees. Many others also helped make the EDGE the place for the best live shows plus the dance nights were pretty popular as well.
  Its sad to see such a historical building being razed for most likely condos or maybe a expanded parking structure..but I hold on to my memories in my heart and the friendships that I still have today. One thing that I still have from the EDGE? The Jimmy Cup....that is what Lori called the huge mug I used to drink my iced coffee from in the office. I used to drink 2 of those a day during shows and was always had lots of energy. I still drink my coffee from a huge drinking cup. Just one of those things. As always,I am so grateful for Jacek and Jimmy for throwing down with me for such a great ride.
  Happy to discover that I have a chance to do another volunteer project for the Home Depot after I missed the one last week. We are going back into Detroit to work at the Buffalo Soldiers Memorial. It most likely will be doing the same thing as we did for the VFW Hall a couple of weeks ago,landscaping,painting,deep cleaning and light replacement. My two partners in crime have also volunteered so we three are going down there together again,this hopefully in the right direction!
 But speaking of volunteers,my friend Kerri and her husband Andrew took part in the AidsWalk in Los Angeles this past weekend. They walked with a team the entire 6 mile route bringing attention that AIDS is still a deadly threat and that research must go on to find a cure. Her team raised an amazing 20,000 dollars!! That is so Wicked and so very kind that they were able to do this! This is very inspiring to say the least.
  I love hearing stories like this...it's what makes going forward is all about.We have a local pizza place called Vizzy's here in Westland who has been into recognizing local folks making a difference. They put the person on their Facebook page with a background story of what they did and thank them by buying them dinner.
  The latest story was about a 8 year old boy named Buster who one day decided to sweep and clean his street up. He called his effort "Clean Your Street,One Bag a Week" because he got tired of seeing the trash on his street. Vizzy's heard about this and honored him for his volunteerism. And I am thanking Paul V. and his Vizzy's Pizza for making a difference by honoring people like Buster.
  I started a new FB group page to promote only good news,I am sick and tired of the negative energy around me. I have had more then my share and so have many of my good friends. I want some light in my life and I really am going to work hard at getting there. I know I will have my bad days and nights but I don't want them to dominate my every waking moment. I will hold on to my Lori but that is all I want to handle right now...and I have a feeling many people reading this will agree. That is why I walked away from several toxic people as of late and embraced those who really are trying to make that difference.
 
  Pretty amped up for this Saturday as my San Jose Spartans (2-1,3-3) are celebrating Homecoming by hosting the University of Wyoming.I admit, three weeks ago,this game had me worried at Wyoming's offense was putting up huge numbers in getting a 4-2 record,including a very close game against 25th ranked Nebraska. So when Colorado State,the same Rams squad that SJS had beaten two weeks ago,played Wyoming,I thought the Cowboys had their 5th win in the bag. Boy,can a week of hard practice make a difference (I know,a recurring theme). Not only did Colorado State win,they destroyed Wyoming,52-22. Now Wyoming is 4-3 and fighting for a potential bowl spot.

   This Spartans have a six game season...I think they need to go 5-1 to get a decent bowl bid. I don't know if they can beat Fresno State but every other team on the schedule can be had,including a suddenly subpar Navy team.  The Spartans can finish 8-4 and get a nice bowl against a BCS team this year instead of a MAC team. Bowl projections have the Spartans facing the USC Trojans in the New Mexico Bowl...love to play SC but not in the first bowl game of the season and the lowest paying one to boot. Like to see a bowl slightly closer to home against SC so that both school fans can travel to the game. Somehow I just don't see a ton of USC fans going to the Land of Enchantment.


Okay then....time to wrap this up. Thanks for reading and please feel free to share/sign up/drop a comment

If you have Twitter,add me @Jinzo_2400

Shout Outs

Barb - Thank you for the dinners
Cheryl - Thank you for the Arizona Tea
Scorpion - Thanks for reaching out to Gunny. You are a true gentleman
Gunny - Hope that leg heals ultra fast and cleanly
Ann- My thoughts and prayers are with your mother..I know she won't go easy and without a fight!
The EDGE - Thanks for letting book some awesome talent on your stage
Howard Burkeen- For your hard work and Christian soul
Daryl and Justin - Time to saddle up again!
Bene and Noel - Own the Cowboys!
Kerri,Andy and jessica - Well done!
Paladin - Thanks for a great week
Lacye- For the hug
Brad - For the Five Good Things list you post every day. One day I hope I can do that.
Frank Bella - Sorry about your father.
Robin - All hail the Queen of Snow! (Go Cuse!)
Tiffany and Aaron - Good luck in the Big D!






Friday, October 18, 2013

My 200th post

Its 9:19 pm

    Its a cold wet rainy night in SE Michigan. The temps are sliding down into the 40s as Paladin and I are getting ready for a major house repair project next week.
 I have a leak in my kitchen that is coming from outside and is causing a split in a seam on my left side of the kitchen. I had to reach out again to Howard Burkeen for his expert help and he and his crew will be here come next week to repair this. Howard is also going to help out with a couple of other issues as well to make this house tighter and better prepared for winter. This will help once the really cold winter weather gets here!
   Yesterday was my first day back with the emergency food giveaway program my city hosts the third Wednesday of every month. Lori and I volunteered the first year together,then after her job made it impossible for her to attend,I continued for another year after that,even after Lori got her cancer. I then only made one appearance in the past two years. It felt good knowing I was going to be back and I went to bed early after watching some TV on Tuesday night.
  I set my alarm for 6:30 am and then promptly had another night of insomnia...tossing and turning,turning and tossing. And that was with my CPAP machine on. I finally fell asleep around 3:45 am-ish and ended up sleeping through my alarm. So you are thinking "poor bastard,he missed his project"...uh,nope....because at 7:20 am I was awakened by a 11 pound buzzsaw of a cat curling up on my chest and purring loud enough to wake me. I got up,got dressed,gave Paladin a cat treat,brushed my teeth and bolted. I got there at 7:55 am and I was the FIRST one there!

   Another volunteer drove up and I helped her unloaded toiletries that her church has been donating. Then we set up the tables and prepped the bags. The same crew was still there except for one gentleman who had jury duty. Jessica,the city employee who runs the program walked in and brought a small box of donut holes to share. We then prepped the toiletries,each guest would receive a 4 pack of toilet paper,a roll of paper towels and a 2-3 pack of bar soap. Doesn't sound like much but as I blogged before about this program,the people here for most part are very grateful for even the smallest gesture.
  Next we waited for the food...and I noticed two things,the amount of food was very small and that instead of the usual 65-70 people we get,we are now at 101 families and rising. I helped do the intake and was surprised when a group of about 10 people plus handlers came in for food. They were pretty young and looked healthy enough. They each gave Jessica a slip of paper and got a bag of food. When they left,I asked about it.
  Turns out they are rehab patients who are transitioning back into society from the rehab center. They go from the center into an apartment where they can work on their sober living skills in a controlled living condition. We only see the patients once and they never come back...but it is newish and adds a bit of a burden to Jessica when she goes and orders the food.
  Other then that,it was a nice quiet shift,one new person started crying when she signed up,she was a grandmother who just had been awarded custody of her three grandkids,I don't and didn't pry into her story but we assured her it was going to be okay. We handed her the calender for the last two dates of 2013 and all of 2014.She was very grateful for the help and thanked all of us.
  I left at noon and filled up my car with gas before heading home.

Christmas is hitting our store now as we are switching over to the holidays. Our Halloween was extremely limited compared to last year as in what we had to sell...we cut back on decorations and not selling any Halloween candy this year. Makes it easier to switch over when the time comes...I am glad I am working Halloween night as I had no intentions of doing candy this year...but maybe next year. This was Lori's favorite time of year...(summer as well) and we always tried to do candy. We made up 3 bags for the neighbor's kids and then passed out candy for about 90 minutes or til the supplies ran out.
  The houses in our neighborhood have some decorations up but not as many as the past couple of years. Marlene (Crash's mom) has a very cute display and I will post a picture of it in my next entry.
  Its Friday and its 3:44 pm

Its cool and overcast outside. I was supposed to be writing about my volunteer project in Inkster but I had a severe case of insomnia last night and didn't fall asleep til 4:30 am...and I was supposed to be at the project at 7 am!! I know I having some serious stress issues as of late...but this is starting to get to me. I feel very disappointed with myself but I did go to bed early yesterday. I was going to do a edition of Dollar Tree Theater before going to bed but I didn't even do that,I just went and laid down. Of course this starts a terrible cycle of going back into the past three years and you just can't turn it off. I have tried watching TV or reading but that doesn't help very much.
  Sometimes I will turn the iPad on a long YouTube video and let the noise try and lull me to sleep but more often then not,it fails as well. Today I am trying the walking idea,heading down to the park and walking a trail. Of course its just now getting cold so getting insomnia heading to winter is just bad luck as well. I am sure I will figure it out...I don't want to let yet even more people down...

  On Tuesday,I ran some errands,I got new wiper blades for my car and headed over to PetCo. to get Paladin his Science Diet plus I had a coupon for a buy 2 cans,get 1 free for PurinaPro for cats. I headed for PetCo first and walked in. As always,I headed over and checked out the cats. As the case in October,there were a lot of black cats to be adopted. I stayed and said "hello" to everyone before walking to the cat food section. As I rechecked my coupon,I had to shake my head,the coupon was for PetSmart..I got my items and headed up to check out. I made small talk with the cashier and I asked her if they accepted coupons from another pet store. She said "It depends" so I showed her my coupon and she said they would honor it. So I was able to get Paladin three cans of good canned cat food. I was very thankful for such a nice gesture.
  After I went to AutoZone and got my wipers,I went to Target...Pacific Rim was released on DVD and I wanted to get my copy. I went in,got the film and walked the food area looking for sales. I had stumbled across a great microwave popcorn deal the last time I walked through so I hoped I was going to be as lucky.
I did find a dinner for under 3 bucks and also found cat food (notice a theme here?) on clearance so I picked up 3 more cans.

  Now I use a Target Red Card when I shop here. It saves me 5% on my purchases and I pay it off right there. And I did the same thing as I always do...but somewhere between buying my stuff and getting home,the movie got lost...I think it fell outta the bag when the cashier handed it to me but because my bag was a bit heavy,I didn't notice it until I got home. I wasn't planning on watching it Tuesday night but Wednesday would have been nice. I called Target and explained the situation,they were gracious and said I could come get another copy. But when I went there last night (I ended up working late on Wednesday) to get the movie,the manager on duty was rather nasty about it. She seemed to suspect some funny business which I picked up on right away. She wanted to see my receipt and I showed her my payment receipt and she said the original one. I said I had not gotten that back (which was my fault,I should have noticed that) and she said I would have to sign the book which showed this happen. But since I got the vibe that she thought I was scamming her,I got a little edgy and asked to bubble this up to the manager,she said that was her and I said then your manager then. She calmed down then and I explained what happened which she never had really given me time to do. It wasn't the most pleasant experience I have had there to say the least which usually isn't the case.

  I found a unopened EP that I got from the Dollar Tree that I am listening to as Paladin is looking outside his window. He was a little testy but after I closed the window for 5 minutes,he meowed and I put him back on it....he settled right down and he is bird watching.


  The EP is from a singer named Serena Ryder,a Canadian singer-songwriter who is doing quite well for herself. My EP,"Sweep the Ashes" is from 2008 (typical for a dollar store) and was pleasantly surprised to really like what I heard. She was a nice husky voice that recalls a young Melissa Etheridge but just a tad lighter which I think helps Serena. Too bad my habit of not always opening my new music happened on this little EP because Serena just was in Ann Arbor playing a small show at the Ark. I will definitely keep my ears and eyes open for her other releases. I love finding new voices...even if its a 5 year old EP!


Learn more about Serena by going here

Thinking about about 17 Oct 89,the big earthquake that struck San Jose/Santa Cruz/San Francisco killing 63 people and injuring 3,700. Its another thing that I don't miss about about California! I saw my friends post their memories of that day...I still recall my day as well...I was on my way to watch the baseball game when the quake hit.
   I went into a crouch and scanned above for falling power lines. The ground rolled and buckled and people either were frozen or screaming because you couldn't walk. I was crouched by a car when I heard a couple of loud bangs,I turned towards the sound and watched a chimney being literally shook apart. The bricks were like missiles and they were hitting the car I was behind.
  I moved to the drivers side and resumed scanning the power lines....and then it was done,except for the screaming of course.
 San Jose was extremely lucky,despite being only about 35 miles from the epicenter,the main destructive thrust went up north to Frisco. The power was out but it was restored in San Jose pretty quickly.


Well,that is about it for now...I know some of you don't get see to see Paladin so I will leave you with this shot.




Shout Outs

Go Tigers!
Melanie V. - It was so cool to run across you again!
Chris Alexander - I thought you handled your business like a boss!
Bill Bean,wrestler.....has a weird ring to it.
Tiffany Hendra- Just because
Eric Stuart - Happy birthday and I hope you raise enough cash for the video shoot
Sarah P- You are extremely charming and so very English. Thanks for the kind words.
Theresa- Happy birthday!
Michael and Amy- What other couple could celebrate a birthday,anniversary and then jet to Haiti for a week of volunteering at a orphan's mission?
Serena Ryder- great voice!

everyone else,thank you so much for hanging with me....





Saturday, October 12, 2013

Adventures in Volunteering (and other stuff)

Its 8:28 pm


Its dark outside,the house is quiet...Paladin is downstairs catching his breath from chasing his new laser pointer all over the house. He seems pretty happy the past two days after a rough night involving the window.  This morning was pretty cool as he hung out with me for over an hour curled up under a blanket purring away and making biscuits.
   Been a good week so far...I completed the first of 3 volunteer projects yesterday at my job.
What was originally was a team of six employees ended only being three and almost not even that as our store manager had to stay while 2 others simply never showed up. But it left us three heads and soon we were driving into Detroit. The ride was pretty quick as we chatted about business and various other items. When we left Canton,the sky was perfectly blue with a little chill to it but as we got closer to Detroit,we hit a fog bank that popped suddenly popped up...which led our driver to make a left turn on a one way street!


Lucky we had enough time to veer clear of becoming a headline new story and got safely back on the road.
10 minutes later we saw the project site,it was VFW Post 2233 and the crews from various stores were already working or just like us,just getting there and ready to work.


   We checked in,got a badge that showed we had worked on the project and headed for the landscape crew...well,almost for me. I got pulled aside and was asked to paint inside. Not a problem and I went inside to find a crew of 20 hard working fellow employees painting,scraping,cleaning,gathering fresh supplies and picking up trash.
  I got a roller and a wall and started painting. The mood was light,slightly chaotic but determined. The commanding staff of the Hall walked around smiling and thanking folks. The VFW,which means,Veterans of Foreign Wars,supports the men and women who served out of country during their service. Not everyone has fought an hostile action but many have stood post during the Cold War days with the Warsaw Pact,or in Japan and South Korea. They have served our country proudly and it was a honor to be able to give back in a small way.
  I spent a hour with the paint crew and painted a wall and a half with two other folks. It was pretty much like the Wayne project,paint what we can with the rollers and then have another person paint the hard to reach areas. It worked out great that way.
   Next,I helped clean up the coat room as it was being stripped and new wall base was being put in. The old was just beyond filthy with age and was had dead bugs all behind it. I stripped and trashed the old pieces while another man worked on removing the old baseboard. The room was small and we made quick work of it and then a paint crew started prepping it while I want back and painted a small hallway near an emergency exit door.
   My two co-workers came and got me so we could say hello to our district manager who was working on a landscape team. They were working to remove trees that were so old that they had grown into the chain link fence. They had removed two and were working on a third with the fourth one still one deck.
  We think we were the only crew from our district to show up and our DM thanked us for supporting the effort.
   Soon enough lunch came up and while we were being fed,the host store introduced us to the Post Commander who in turn introduced his staff and other leaders who had shown up to watch how the project would turn out. They thanked us and said how much our veterans hold our company up with respect because the service we do for them.
  Lunch was over and back at we went. My small team laid out a new Allure floor for women's bathroom,despite the fact we never had done one before!


We were making good progress when once again,the paint leader approached me for some support is laying new wall base down. Naturally I said yes and went with her...only to find that no one wanted to do such a tedious job and that entire activity room along with 3 other rooms needed it done. I had never laid wall base down myself but with the help of two other guys,we attacked it with gusto.
  40 minutes later and 20% percent done,one of my guys said we had to leave because he had to work a overnight at our home store. I said goodbye to my wall crew and grabbed my sweater and we left..the buzz was still strong and I saw some fresh people start showing up.
   The ride home went quickly and soon we were back at our store where I picked up the Rodger Young and headed to Target to get some cat treats and a couple of cans of catfood.
  As I was slowly walking around Target,I thought of the countless times Lori and I went to there together. We both loved the store and it was a trip always worth going on. Just walking around brings back those fond memories and how I wish she was here with me. Its so jarring to go inside alone. Most times when a person shops alone,you never really think about it,you just do it. But for me,its a source of pain and a reminder of the loss. But you have to push through it because Paladin needs to eat and so do you.
   After I made a lap around the pet section,I walked over to the DVD section where I saw a movie that I heard great things about from my fellow Jet Jaguar/Jaeger co-pilot,Chris Alexander,who also edits the only horror magazine worth talking about,Fangoria. (how is that for name dropping??)
  The movie is called "Frankenstein's Army" and its set in World War 2 when a lost Russian patrol stumbles across things almost as bad as the Nazis they are fighting. Fangoria said the movie was one of the best horror movies of the year and it was on sale,so I said "what the hell,splurge a little bit" and picked it up.


  I know,they do sort of look like the Koch Brothers,don't they? So that will join my small pile of DVDs that I have gathered to watch. I am now waiting for "Pacific Rim" to come out on BluRay next week.

I'm off tomorrow and I will be working in the backyard weeding and pruning. This is so far overdue and I am saying that despite the fact I was out there a month ago and completely weeded my yard. I am throwing away our old BBQ grill which is starting to rust out now. The weather has been  beyond nice and very unusually warm this year. But I have no real desire to grill at this point in life,maybe next year but for now...its now going into the trash. I know my neighbors are still grilling because I can smell it when I get home. It feel so much more like summer then Fall.
  


That is all I have for now....not very exciting I know but I am very happy you are still coming by and supporting my efforts here. I am glad I am back writing more now. It does a lot to release the stress.

And lastly....a quick note that the amazing Jane Monheit has a NEW album out now called "the heart of the matter". Jane is the best jazz vocalist in the world today in my opinion and you have if know if I am saying this,it has to be true,right? *LOL*



To find out more about Jane and where she is playing,please visit http://janemonheitonline.com/ for more info.


"Love and only love,will endure" - Neil Young


Shout outs

Amy and Michael,what a week! A birthday,anniversary and a trip to Haiti! Be safe and God bless you both!
Kerri and Andrew- Congrats on your award for the film that you worked so hard on.
Scorpion - You look ghastly in that Choke Sox cap! Here is hoping the new man cave becomes a real life bat cave!
Sydney in Ohio - Sending you warm thoughts and yes,I have noticed you have been here often and I thank you!
Jimmy- After thinking about it,my Black Crowes comment was too flip and I apologize.
Jane - Why no Michigan dates?
Darryl and Justin- Had a blast,lets do it again soon
Kayla and Jeni- Miracles DO happen!
Craig - you know I just now figured Boo was a girl!
Shea- Thanks for the band tip....see above for mine!
Kwame Kilpatrick - 28 years and I hope you do every single day! You let so many down here in Detroit.


If you are Twitter,add me @Jinzo_2400











Monday, October 7, 2013

Have Cat,Will Love 2 (and other stuff)

Its 12: 20 pm

   Its a cool chilly day here in SE Michigan. I have the windows open for Paladin as he loves to sit and look outside at the world. I have my front door open as well as he bounces from spot to spot. Our first week has been a pretty good one for the most part,he showed a little frustration about wanting outside by growling at me once. I had to take away his window and door for 15 minutes and went upstairs as well. Pretty soon I heard a tiny meow behind me and when I turned around Paladin meowed again...he headed butt my leg and I picked him up and his purr was full on.
   I went downstairs and let him have his window and door back...he has been the perfect gentleman since. But I have to admit,I was more upset at the shelter then Paladin. See,he was at the shelter for six months and because he was hostile to other cats,he had his own enclosure. Every time a staff member or a volunteer went inside,he was allowed to escape and go down the hallway. Now if had happened once or twice,I would consider it a accident and think nothing of it but the fact they didn't work with him to prevent this behaviour bothers me. They had me fill out a questionaire on how I would handle certain situations if they came up and I posted on their FB page,maybe it should be me asking them those questions. Paladin is used to being outside,this is what landed him at the shelter in the first place and not addressing this might not have ended with a happy ending for him if I had not adopted him. See,they had his ideal home being in a active house with kids...which his outside habits would have allowed and he might have ended up lost or even killed.
   But that aside,he is a very nice cat...he loves to run and play. He is pretty nimble around the turns in the kitchen and living room...he has normal sized paws so he tends to skid where as Derek Jeter and his huge paws always made the turn. The mornings are the best...he hears me wake up and he will meow,I tell him to come up and he races up the stairs and lays on my chest and purrs. He loves going under the blanket and will stay there for 10 minutes or so. Then its to the window and then back to the chest.
  I think the most puzzling thing about Paladin is the fact his first choice for a sleeping spot was a dining room chair,he has moved on to sleeping on the table (which never gets used). He likes to be held and I do the same thing as I did with Derek...I hold him until he wants down or even before so that he continues to enjoy that. He likes attacking me feet but since he is a little too mouthy,I don't really encourage that and will distract him from doing that.
 I do feel he would benefit from a friend but he doesn't play nice with others,it just can't happen.

I like to thank everyone who read my "Acts of Kindness" blog entry. I have mentioned this before but we bloggers love the comments you leave on our entries. It gives us meaning and purpose in continuing to write. And adding your name to the "Follow this Blog" also is very cool. And of course sharing it with your friends is also very kind. Which is why I would like to thank regular reader and guest blogger,Jessica Clackum,who graciously reposted two of my blog entries (about Derek and getting Paladin) on her own blog page. I didn't know she had done that until I went over to catch up on her blog. I was (and am) very touched by what she wrote and her friends did as well. Such a kind gesture and I am grateful!
  Speaking of acts of kindness....pretty pumped as I am getting ready for my 3rd and 4th volunteer projects at my job. We are heading deep into the heart of Hell (aka Detroit) to help repair a building that supports our military veterans. I don't know what I will be asked to do only that I will do my utmost to do whatever they want. This will happen on Thursday and next week will see us working on a community center in Wayne painting and repairing some school classrooms.
  And next Wednesday will see me working my first emergency food bank giveaway for the city of Canton in over a year. Lori and I both volunteered here for the first year it went live and I continued the second year after Lori started working at Lane Bryant. Of course once she got sick,I couldn't do this as much and last year,not at all. I know her spirit will be with me when I head back there...I called Paula,our city's volunteer project leader to let her know I would be there and after I hung up,the phone rang 5 minutes later and she asked me to volunteer for the Goodfellow's food drive in November which I gladly said "yes" too,I will be collecting food and then helping sort it out and making sure it gets to needy families for the holidays.

 Happy birthday to my friend Amy Lange!

Been reading a lot more as of late as the days grow short and the weather gets a little chilly. I finished "Chicken Soup For a Woman's Soul" last night...it was a good read and this is a series I enjoy a lot.


I know many think its a mushy collection but it isn't always so,good life lessons are in every volume about how ordinary people deal with extraordinary problems and issues. While yes,they sell the book with short stories about well known people,its the stories written by folks like you and I that are at the heart of each book.

Look over at the huge stack of books at my disposal,I am going to start Larry J. Sabato's "A More Perfect Constitution" tonight when I get home. It looks very interesting and now that I have picked it out,can't wait to dive into it. Just the fact the Founding Fathers felt the Constitution should never be static already has me hooked. This is another of my Dollar Tree finds. What a great place to get quality books if you keep your eyes out for them.




Glad to see San Jose State back in the win column! The Spartans,despite having key injuries to Bene Benwikere and Noel Grigsby,managed to overcome the University of Hawaii,37-27,last weekend. This was a key win as the schedule is a bit softer for the next two games and a chance for the Spartans to get into bowl consideration despite only being 2-3 on the year.


The big news is Head Coach Ron Caragher played six freshman,including two tailbacks,which infused much needed energy and possibly a running game for SJSU. This bodes well for the future...but I still have issues with the players Caragher is recruiting,they seem more suited for Div.II then a Div I school in terms of size at key positions. Small doesn't begin to describe how these players are,I think Smurfs would be the word I would use. But its still early and we'll see how it plays out.



Hope both Bene and Noel will be back in time for Colorado State which has shown marked improvement over last year's team...even playing Alabama very tough before losing in the second half. This will be a good test for SJSU as they go from Paradise to the Rockies in just one week!

Well,I am going to wrap this up....as you can see,I had a decent week...not a "good" week but not doom and gloom either. I am sure that is a welcome change for my regular readers.


Shout outs

Scorpion - The garage is almost finished! What a great journey and you did it the right way. You are a inspiration.
Bene- Get well #21,we need you back playing!
Jessica- Thank you so much for sharing my blog with your readers. I think I should start a page like yours.
Lindsay- John Keynes,where should I start reading first?
Terrie - Hope you are back to work tomorrow,you are so important to so many people.
Brad - 8 Questions this week...
Sinatra- Will call Saturday
Don - Our thoughts are with you!





Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Acts of Kindness

Its 10:20 am

   Been a restful evening here...it was a chilly and overcast day here in SE Michigan. I was woke up by a 12 pound ball of purring cat in my ear again. Paladin is enjoying sleeping on a dining room chair at night but dashing up and cuddling up in the morning. He is a very loving cat and I can't help but think of his old owners,their carelessness in letting such a great cat go outside to be lost is tragic. He still runs at the sound of a door opening but I pick him and talk sugar to him while leading him away from the door.



 As you may know,I am all about paying it forward. I think that random acts of kindness are one of the things that is sorely lacking in this world. Right now at work,I am being subjected to ACTS of kindness by a gracious lady named Barb. What started out as "pick up me a Dr. Pepper and I'll pay you back" which was declined,has grown into getting a bowl of homemade chicken soup a week and a sandwich a couple of times a week. I have offered to pay but the Manning Rule (thanks again,Todd!) has been invoked. I have tried paying her back many times,including asking someone else to slip the cash into her apron. Of course it was top secret and when Barb found the money,she asked the person who gave her this...which in turn,my asset,burned me and sold me out. Barb walked over and said "No,this is yours".
  Being that I am living on the edge as so many of us are doing,I am very grateful for the meals. Its very touching to know that someone is doing such a unselfish act for me. And in this day,when it all it seems that people just want to "take",its truly is awesome to give.
  Which brings me to this,yesterday saw me heading to Target for some cat supplies. I needed a new pooper scooper,a scratch pad,some catnip and whatever else I might have seen.
  While I am standing there in the cat food section,a man is on the phone asking what kind of cat food to get. I wait til he finishes his call and asked him if he needed help. He said "yes" so I spent 10 minutes explaining the differences between cat food. He asked several questions and I was pretty much able to answer them all and gave a couple of suggestions I picked up from Cat Fancy Magazine.

  I finished getting my items and headed up to check out. Again,here is where Barb came into play. She had generously gifted me a 15.00 gift card for Target before Derek Jeter passed away,I had planned on using that for cat litter but instead,I used it for Paladin's new items.
  The cashier was new and when she bagged my items,she made top heavy...and one bag spilled on the floor. As I bent over to pick it up a young woman's voice  asked "Do you need help,sir?" I picked up the bag and turned to look at a young couple with their daughter. They were in line waiting to buy some kids clothes and a couple of toys. I smiled and said "No,but thank you so much for asking". Its sad that this stands out because 99.9% of people would have said nothing to me or anyone else for that matter.
 As I was now paying for my items,I saw the toys and clothes. I looked at the parents again,they seemed a like a nice couple and the father was doting on his daughter.
  I reached over and selected a clothes item and a toy and said I like to repay your kindness. The young mom said "You don't have to do that" but I said "I know,which is why I want to". She then introduced herself and her husband,Starr and Tom, and said "Thank you!".
The amount that was rung up? 15.00......the same amount on the gift card. I said good-bye and headed home.
  Paladin was waiting for me at the window...I called his name and he started meowing and purring. I can't get over such a huge purr in a small cat!
Photo


   Kudos to Michelle Wolford Ball whose 5th Annual Bras for a Cause was another major success. The event,which raises awareness for breast cancer,is a labor of love for her both for the loss of a beloved friend but also a celebration of life as well. Michelle herself is a breast cancer survivor (as is Lori's best friend,Deb...the lady who went with me to the Memorial service which I blogged about) and works tirelessly to support others with breast cancer or in our case,uterine cancer.
  You'll note that the show was hosted by our own Amy Lange (seriously,when do Michael and Amy ever rest?) who gives back so much to our community. While I had originally planned to attend this event,the UM Memorial came a week before this and I don't think I would handled two events back to back. Besides,I think there larger forces at work,if I had gone to the show,I would have missed out on meeting and adopting Paladin. But next year,count me in 100%,Michelle!.




That is it....I know,two entries in a week! Feels great to get back in the saddle...


Shout-outs

Huron Valley Humane Shelter - Thank you very much for helping me find Paladin. He is a wonderful cat!
Barb- I can't thank you enough,I am very grateful.
Rob W - Thanks for the late night chat,you will always be a Hall of Famer in my book
Kim and Angie - you rock
Melanie and Terrie - Angels!!
Kerri - I can't wait to squeak!
Brad - How about those Pirates and Roberto is one of my heroes as well.
Bene - How about beating the Warriors this week! Can't do it without you!
Wendy- So nice to reconnect again on Twitter,you are doing wonderful things!

Thank you all so much for reading my blog,please feel free to hit the "Follow this Blog" on the upper right side.

If you have Twitter,add me @Jinzo_2400